Compassion, Little Sins, and Haiti

Whew. It's been awhile. Lots to write about.

First off, over Christmas break, my mother and I chose, not one, not two, but THREE sweet girls for our family to sponsor through Compassion International. We went in with a mindset of two (my mom was very clear two was the limit and I was just grateful she was supporting me in wanting to do this), but then as I sat there with her looking at all of those children, I could see something change in her that I saw change in me MY first time going through the children. So we ended up with three (after extensively and painfully narrowing down a group of about 20). I had originally wanted a boy and a girl, but due to the fact that I prayed constantly about being led to choose which children specifically needed me (and in turn that I needed), I'm confident in our choices.
Oldest is Rossi, who lives in the DR. My mom and I saw her picture (she had a huge grin and a hand on one hip) and immediately liked her spunk. She is 14 and in 7th grade and I haven't heard from her yet, but already sent her a letter and gift.
Next is Sharon who lives in Uganda. I don't know exactly what drew us to her, but something did. She's 13 and in 8th grade (a baby just like me!). She's the only one who has written back so far, but let me tell you, tears were streaming down my face as I read the words written in her handwriting knowing that this was the start of what I'm sure will be a fruitful and blessed friendship. She has FIVE brothers (bless her) and lives by a lake and loves chemistry (bless her again). Over and over she kept saying how thankful she was to have a friend like me, and it's funny because even though I may be supporting her financially, I can already tell she is going to be such a blessing to me.
Last but not least is little Schnydine. She is 4 and lives in Haiti, which is one of the reasons why I picked her (the others being her absolutely pitiful face and her precious lavender dress). I haven't heard from her either, but I sent her a letter (my first time writing to a young child) and some Barbie stickers that I hope she'll like.
So those are my girls, and if you're reading this, please send up a prayer for each of them and for me as well, that God may use me as a medium of encouragement and an example of what Christ can do in one's life.

Next up is something I've been struggling with a lot this semester (and last semester and pretty much my whole life). Little sins.
But really, they're so big and monstrous. I'm talking about lying. Envy. Greed. Idolatry.
I've been blessed by not being tempted by things that are normally so tempting to college students: sex, drinking, partying, etc- the "BIG" sins.
But something I realized is just how potent my own sins are.
They're sneaky. It takes one second to lie. One second to think something nasty about your friend. And before you know it, they're tumbling down around you and suffocating you.
But before you get to that point, they trick you. They trick you into thinking that you're doing just fine. That since you're not partying, guzzling alcohol, whatever, that you're a great person.
And then they do the worst thing imaginable- cheapen the cross.
It's so easy to think yourself not a sinner when all you're doing is gossiping. To think that Christ died for all of those people that are "immoral", while you didn't really contribute to his suffering.
News flash: You did.
In almost a bigger way than those that are given over to the "big" sins.

Jesus died on the cross because of that little bitty lie you told your roommate. You pinned him there with that little lie. With that gossip, with that envy.

Humbling stuff, my friends.
He died for me, just as much as for anyone else, and only by His grace and I able to be pulled from that pile of sin that tumbles around me.

Sin is sin, but Jesus is Jesus and grace is grace. I am saved. I am set free. Hallelujah.


Now to my last point: Haiti.
I recently started reading Kisses From Katie, and oh how it is tearing at my heart.
I want to be in Haiti now. I don't want to be in Auburn. But there are SO many things that have to happen before I can go to Haiti (the biggest being my parents' blessing) and through that I know that God has me in Auburn right now for a reason.
I want to pour myself out to those who crave it. I want to shine His light into an unknown world. I want to teach children about Jesus and in turn be taught so many lessons by them.
And I find myself wanting to just leave everything material that I cherish daily behind. Idolatry would be a much easier thing to conquer without TV, and my phone, and social networks. A problem I think many of us in this privileged generation have is that we rarely NEED Jesus and ONLY Jesus. It's so easy to think we don't. But amongst the poverty and orphans and hungry, I will be forced to rely on Him and Him alone. I won't have google, I won't have endless supplies of medicine, but I will have His unfailing love.


I'll wrap up this terribly long post (if you've made it this far then THANK YOU) with a verse I should probably get tattooed on my forehead and arms and everywhere else I can see. It had nothing and yet everything to do with all of that ^^^ up there. It helps remedy those little sins as well as putting mankind as a whole into its rightful place- under an almighty God.

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.
-Galatians 1:10